We’re adding au pair host family FAQs all the time. If you have a question, pop over to our My Au Pair and Me Community Facebook group and ask away!

There are four sections to this FAQ page:

  • Where do I start?
  • Let’s talk about the money
  • Day in and day out with an au pair
  • Oh no, what should I do now?

Where Do I Start?

What is an au pair?

The over simplified explanation of an au pair is a foreign exchange nanny. Au pairs come to another country to learn the language and culture. They live with a host family and exchange child care assistance for room, board, tuition assistance, and a small amount of pocket money.

For more information see our blog What is an au pair?

How many hours does an au pair work?

Au pairs in the USA can work a maximum of 10 hours per day and a maximum of 45 hours per week.

How do you find an au pair?

To find au pairs in the USA you have to go through an official au pair sponsor agency.

For more information see our blog How to Pick an Au Pair Agency.

Is it legal to live and work in the USA as an au pair?

Yes, the American au pair program is a legal cultural visitor program through the US Department of State. Au pairs are issued a J-1 Visa which legally authorized them to live in the USA. The Department of State maintains the requirements for the au pair program including, among other things, the minimum pocket money, the hours and task restrictions, and the participation requirements for both the au pairs and the host families.

What is the difference between a nanny and an au pair?

Unlike nannies, au pairs are considered a part of the host family and not merely an employee. The au pair program is a cultural exchange opportunity for both the au pair and the host family.

For more information see our What is an au pair? blog.

How long does it take for an au pair to arrive?

How long it takes for an au pair to arrive at your home depends on whether the au pair is already in the country on rematch or whether they will be traveling from their home country. If the au pair is in the country already, then the process can be completed in as quick as a week or two. If the au pair is traveling from their home country, then the au pair will need to receive visa approval and attend the 32 hours of training from the sponsor agency before they can travel to your home. This process can take anywhere from 4 to 9 weeks to complete and will depend on the frequency of the sponsor agency training.

What if I have an au pair I want to bring to the U.S.?

Most au pair sponsor agencies would be happy to help you bring an au pair to the USA that you already know, some even offer discounted fees for this situation. The au pair you select will still need to complete all the interview, medical, reference check and background checks just like the other au pairs. Also, it is important to note that au pairs can not be placed in families of relatives.

Can au pairs care for children with special needs?

Yes, au pairs can care for children with special needs as long as the au pairs are qualified and the host family agrees. As required by the US Department of State, au pairs can not be place with “families with a special needs child(ren), as identified by the family, unless the au pair has identified his/her prior experience, skills or training in the care of special needs children and the host family has reviewed and acknowledged the au pair’s prior experience, skills, or training in writing”.

What does "au pair" mean?

Au pair, pronounced “o pair” in French, means “on par” or equal. The term au pair represents the special, equal basis, relationship between the family and the caregiver. Au pairs are included in daily life as an adult member of the family, much like an older sibling to the host children.

What is an in-country au pair?

In-country au pairs have already traveled to the USA, taken training, been placed with a host family, and are now looking for a new host family. There are many reasons why an au pair may be looking for a new host family. For example, they may have had a cultural mismatch with their current host family, the host family may have had unrealistic expectation for their au pair, or the host family was faced with a hardship and could no longer host an au pair. Another common reason for an au pair to look for a new host family is an extension. If an au pair has already completed their 12 month program commitment, then they may choose to extend for 3, 6, or 12 months with a different family.

How do I become an au pair host family?

To become a host family for an au pair in the USA, you will need to:

  1. Choose an au pair sponsor agency
  2. Sign up to become a host family and complete the initial host family requirements
  3. Search for the perfect au pair
  4. Interview and select an au pair
  5. Complete the pre arrival host family requirements
What are the au pair requirements?

Although the au pair requirements differ slightly from one agency to the next, there are key qualifications to become an au pair in the USA which are dictated by the US Department of State.

Au pairs in the USA are:

  • Between 18 and 26 years old
  • English speaking
  • Experienced in caring for children, to some degree (at least 200 hours of documented infant child care experience is required in homes with children under two years of age)
  • Graduates of a secondary school or equivalent
  • In good health with a satisfactory medical certificate
  • Personally interviewed, in English, by an organizational representative
  • Responsible young adults of good character. All have had references verified, have passed a criminal background check and a personality profile
  • Required to receive a minimum of 32 hours of childcare training in the USA before they are placed with a host family
  • Not related to their host family

Au pairs are also required to sign an agreement detailing the au pair’s obligation to provide child care prior to the au pair’s placement in the host family’s home.

What are the au pair host family requirements?

Although the host family requirements differ slightly from one agency to the next, there are key requirements to becoming a host family in the USA which are dictated by the US Department of State.               

Host families in the USA must:

  • Be parents / legal guardians (couples or single parents) with their children living at home (au pairs cannot care for infants under three months old nor children older than 15 years old)
  • Provide the au pair with suitable private room
  • Be U.S. citizens or legal permanent residents and speak English
  • Facilitate the au pair in enrolling in and attending post secondary courses in order to complete the educational requirements of the program
  • Pay up to $500 toward the cost of the au pair’s required academic coursework
  • Pay a weekly minimum stipend
  • Give the au pair one complete weekend off each month (Friday evening to Monday morning)
  • Provide a minimum of two weeks paid vacation per year
  • Include the au pair whenever possible in family meals, outings, holidays and other events
  • Sign an agreement detailing the au pair’s obligation to provide child care prior to the Au Pair’s placement in the host family’s home.

See our blog What Makes a Great Au Pair Host Family?

What are the au pair sponsor agency requirements?

The US Department of State requires au pair sponsors agencies in the USA to:

  • Screen and select both host families and au pairs
  • Ensure the program requirements for the au pairs and host families are met
  • Provide au pairs with 32 hours of training in american life, child development, and child safety prior to their placement with a host family
  • Be transparent about fees and other potential costs
  • Monitor au pair’s participation throughout the program, including the physical location, progress, and welfare of the au pair
  • File a program-specific management review to the State Department, so that the Department can regularly review internal controls and program compliance
  • Ensure that Childcare is limited to no more than 10 hours per day, and to a maximum of 45 hours per week.
  • Ensure that the au pairs are compensated for their work according to the Fair Labor Standards Act as interpreted and implemented by the U.S. Department of Labor.
Are there male au pairs?

Yes, men can become au pairs. Where the majority of au pairs are women, there are not any legal restrictions for men to become au pairs.

How long does an au pair stay?

Au pairs have a 12 month program commitment (1 week of training, 51 weeks of child care). After the 12 month program, au pairs can also choose to extend for 6, 9, or 12 months with the same family or with a different family.

At the end of the au pair’s program, they are able to stay in the USA and travel for their “13th month” before heading back to their home country.

Can I hire an au pair without an agency?

No, you cannot legally hire an au pair without a sponsor agency in the USA.

Where are au pairs from?

Au pairs can be from just about any county in the world. Most commonly in America, au pairs are German or French. If you are interested in au pairs from a certain country, it is best to find the agency that focus recruitment in that country.

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What is an EduCare au pair?

EduCare au pairs are for families that require childcare before and after school. This allows the au pair to complete more academic training while in the host country. EduCare au pairs are paid 75% of the weekly rate of regular au pairs. However, they are limited to a maximum of 10 hours per day and 30 hours per week. EduCare au pairs also receive $1000 per year towards a minimum of 12 hours of academic credit.

What is an au pair extrordinaire?

Au pair extrordinaire is a term used by the Au Pair in America agency to describe au pairs with advanced qualifications. Au pair extraordinaire is not officially recognized by the US Department of State, they are technically the same as a regular au pairs. Au Pair in America charges a premium for au pair extrordinaires and also requires host families to pay the au pair more than the required minimum stipend.

What is a pro au pair?

Pro au pair is a term used by the Agent Au Pair agency to describe au pairs with advanced qualifications. Pro au pairs are not officially recognized by the US Department of State, they are technically the same as a regular au pairs. Agent Au Pair charges a premium for pro au pairs and also requires host families to pay the au pair more than the required minimum stipend.

What is an au pair plus?

Au pair plus is a term used by the Au Pair 4 Me agency to describe au pairs with advanced qualifications. Au pair plus is not officially recognized by the US Department of State. They are technically the same as a regular au pairs. Au Pair 4 Me charges a premium for an au pair plus and also require host families to pay the au pair more than the required minimum stipend.

What is a professional au pair?

Professional au pair is a term used by the Au Pair International agency to describe au pairs with advanced qualifications. Au pair plus is not officially recognized by the US Department of State, they are technically the same as a regular au pairs. Au Pair International charges a premium for professional au pairs and also requires host families to pay the au pair more than the required minimum stipend.

What is a Premier au pair?

Premier au pair is a term used by the Great Au Pair agency to describe au pairs with advanced qualifications. Premier au pair is not officially recognized by the US Department of State. They are technically the same as a regular au pairs. Great Au Pair charges a premium for Premier au pairs.

What is a Premiere au pair?

Premiere au pair is a term used by the Go Au Pair agency to describe au pairs with advanced qualifications. Premiere is not officially recognized by the US Department of State. They are technically the same as a regular au pairs. Go Au Pair charges a premium for Premiere au pairs and also requires host families to pay the au pair more than the required minimum stipend.

What is a Par Experience au pair?

Par Experience au pair is a term used by the EurAuPair agency to describe au pairs with advanced qualifications. Par Experience is not officially recognized by the US Department of State. They are technically the same as a regular au pairs. EurAuPair charges a premium for Par Experience au pairs and also requires host families to pay the au pair more than the required minimum stipend.

Let's Talk About the Money

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How much does an au pair cost?

When you bring a new au pair into your home you can expect to pay an agency program fee and the au pair’s weekly stipend. Agency expenses vary, but before discounts you can expect the total of these two expenses to be between $17,400 and $20,000 per year ($15,400 and $17,000 per year for EduCare au pairs).

You are also responsible for room, board, $500 towards the completion of educational credits, and any expenses your au pair incurs while working.

For more information see our blog How much does an au pair cost?

How much is an au pair per month?

When you bring a new au pair into your home you can expect to pay an agency program fee and the au pair’s weekly stipend. Agency expenses vary, but before discounts you can expect the total of these two expenses to be between $1,450 and $1,670 per month. ($1,280 and $1,420 per year for EduCare au pairs).

You are also responsible for room, board, $500 towards the completion of educational credits, and any expenses your au pair incurs while working.

For more information see our blog How much does an au pair cost?

What do the au pair agency fees include?

The au pair agency fees and services vary from agency to agency but typically they include:

  1. Host family interviews and reference checks
  2. Au pair recruitment and screening (including criminal background check and psychometric evaluation)
  3. Visa assistance
  4. Medical, travel, accidental death, and personal liability insurance for your au pair
  5. Airfare from the au pairs home airport to training
  6. Return airfare from your home airport to your au pairs home airport
  7. “SEVIS” (US Homeland Security student database system) fee
  8. Au pairs orientation and training once they arrive in the USA
  9. Host family orientation
  10. Regular communication with the local community counselor
  11. Local community counselor assistance if the need should arise

Au pair sponsor agencies are required to be transparent about their fees by US Department of State. If you have any questions about the fees for a particular agency please reach out to the them directly.

How much do you have to pay an au pair?

Au pair weekly compensation is determined by the US Department of State in accordance to the Fair Labor Standards Act as interpreted and implemented by the U.S. Department of Labor. As of January 1, 2019 the au pair weekly stipend is a minimum of $195.75 per week ($146.81 for EduCare au pairs).

Also, check out our blog I’m Giving My Au Pair a Raise.

Can I pay my au pair more than the minimum?

Absolutly! You can pay your au pair whatever you would like as long as it is more than the $195.75/week minimum stipened.

Both Abbie and Maddie pay their au pair’s more than the minimum stipened. Check out our blog I’m Giving My Au Pair a Raise.

How much is an au pair per week?

When you bring a new au pair into your home you can expect to pay an agency program fee and the au pair’s weekly stipend. Agency expenses vary, but before discounts you can expect the total of these two expenses to be between $340 and $393 per week for the 51 week program year ($301 and $334 per week for EduCare au pairs).

You are also responsible for room, board, $500 towards the completion of educational credits, and any expenses your au pair incurs while working.

For more information see our blog How much does an au pair cost?

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What additional costs can I expect when I host an au pair?

In addition to the agency fees, stipend, and educational money requirements, you can expect to pay for room and board for your au pair.

Host families also typically pay any expenses their au pair incurs while working. A basic cell phone in case of emergencies and transportation costs to care for the children are examples.

Some agencies also charge additional fees so be careful to check the fine print before you sign a contract.

For more information see our blog How much does an au pair cost?

What should my au pair pay for?

Who pays for what can get a little complicated. If there is something in question is it best to ask your local au pair counselor for advice.

In general, host families pay for room and board (bedding, towels, paper products, household groceries, utilities, etc.) and any expenses incurred in the care of the children (basic cell phone, car insurance and/or other transportation costs, activity fees, meals out with the family, etc.).

Au pairs typically pay for their personal expenses (clothes, bath products, cosmetics, meals out when not with the host family, transportation costs when not with the host family, alcohol, personal vacations, etc.).

Who pays for the au pairs car insurance?

Typically, the host family pays car insurance for the au pair. This is especially true if the au pair is using the host families car to perform some of her child car duties.

Do I have to pay for my au pair to go on vacation with me?

Yes, if your au pair will be on duty while vacationing with the family you will need to provide room, board, and transportation.

Do you have to feed an au pair?

Yes, as part of the au pair contract the host family is required to provide room and board (aka food) for the au pair.

Do I have to provide a cell phone and pay for a plan for my au pair?

Cell phones are an essential expense in modern life. Because your au pair needs to call you in case of an emergency, you need to provide a cell phone and pay for a basic plan. These are one of the costs we talk about in How Much Does an Au Pair Cost.

Do you require your au pair to drive? If so, you will also need to pay for some amount of data for GPS navigation if it is not available in the au pair’s vehicle. You may also want your au pair to be able to take pictures and send them to you at work.

Cell phones can be expensive. The cost of the phone, the accessories, and the usage plan really add up. But there are a few ways to keep these costs in check. See our blog 3 Tips for Controlling Au Pair Cell Phone Expenses.

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What is the cost of an au pair vs a nanny?

According to the 2017 INA Nanny Salary & Benefits Survey, the average hourly rate for a Nanny in the USA is $19.14 per hour. For a 45 hour work week, this calculates to $909.15 for a nanny (including 5 hours of overtime) compared to between $340 and $393 per week for an au pair.

In both cases this is not the total cost of the child care service.

For more information on au pairs see our blog How much does an au pair cost?

There are also hidden costs of hiring a nanny.

What is the cheapest au pair agency?

It depends, the cheapest au pair agency for you may not be the cheapest for someone else.

Most agency discounts and fees vary depending on a number of factors such as the host family location, military status, repeat host family, etc.

Check out our FREE download of all the agency fees in the How Much Does An Au Pair Cost blog.

Do au pair sponsor agencies offer payment plans?

Yes, most au pair sponsor agencies offer payment plans for host families who can not afford to pay the total amount of program fees upfront. The terms and fees for payment plans vary so be sure to understand the specific details for your chosen agency before you sign up.

Is the cost of an au pair tax deductible?

The cost of an au pair may be a tax deductible if:

  1. The an au pair is providing child care services in order for you to work or to look for work.
  2. You meet all the qualifications to receive the deduction.

For more information see our blog How I did my au pairs taxes.

My Au Pair and Me is not a tax expert. We suggest that you reference the US Internal Revenue Service, contact your sponsor agency, and/or work with a certified tax expert to help you determine the specific tax liability for your au pair.

Do au pairs have to pay taxes?

Yes, the U.S. Internal Revenue Service considers au pairs to be employees of the host family for tax reasons, even though they are in the United States on a “cultural exchange” visa.

For more information see our blog How I did my au pairs taxes.

My Au Pair and Me is not a tax expert. We suggest that you reference the US Internal Revenue Service, contact your sponsor agency, and/or work with a certified tax expert to help you determine the specific tax liability for your au pair.

Day In and Day Out With an Au Pair

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What can I expect from my au pair?
Au pairs are expected to be responsible young adults of good character.

You can schedule them to assist in the care of your children up to 45 hours per week, and up to 10 hours per day. Typical tasks may include activities like playing with the children and helping them pick up their things, helping the children with laundry, dressing and bathing, cooking for the children and cleaning up after the children’s meal time.

Also, as an adult member of the household, an au pair can be expected to do their fair share of the other household tasks. For example, they can clean their own bathroom, help with family meals, occasionally take out the trash and vacuum. It is important to note that au pairs are not hired help for your household. You cannot expect them to clean your entire home, do your laundry, take care of your lawn, etc.

What are my au pair's responsibilities?
Typical duties for an au pair may include activities like playing with the children and helping them pick up their things, helping the children with laundry, dressing and bathing, cooking for the children and cleaning up after the children’s meal time.

Also, as an adult member of the household, an au pair can be expected to do their fair share of the other household tasks. For example, they can clean their own bathroom, help with family meals, occasionally take out the trash and vacuum. It is important to note that au pairs are not hired help for your household. You cannot expect them to clean your entire home, do your laundry, take care of your lawn, etc.

Can my au pair help with my pets?

Technically no, you can not require your au pair to help with your pets. However, many au pairs love animals as much as they love children and will happily volunteer to help care for your pets, as well.

Can my au pair do housework?

Yes, your au pair can do light housework tasks associated with the care of your children (childrens laundry, cleaning up after children’s meals, helping children pick up their rooms, etc).

Your au pair can also do her share of housework such as clean their room and their bathroom.

It is important to note that au pairs are not hired help for your household. You cannot expect them to clean your entire home, do your laundry, take care of your lawn, etc.

Can an au pair live out?

No, the au pair program is a cultural exchange program so they are required to live with a host family. Host families are also expected to include the au pair whenever possible in family meals, outings, holidays and other events.

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Can my au pair work more hours if I pay her extra?

Technically no, you may not require your au pair to work more than 10 hours per day and 45 hours per week. However, some au pairs work “off the books” as babysitters even though it is not permitted by U.S. Department of State regulation.

Can an au pair have a second job?

Technically no, your au pair can not take a second job. However, some au pairs work “off the books” even though it is not permitted by U.S. Department of State regulation.

Do au pairs get vacation time?

Yes, au pairs are entitled to a minimum of two weeks of paid vacation during their program year. Typically the family chooses the timing of one week and the au pair chooses the timing of the other week (so long as it works for the host family). Also, vacation does not have to be taken a week at a time, it can be taken as individual days if desired.

Can I set and modify the au pair work schedule?

Yes, you can set and modify your au pairs schedule as long as you are with the program rules. Au pairs can work a maximum of 10 hours per day and a maximum of 45 hours per week. Program rules also require au pairs to have at least one full weekend off per month (Friday night through Monday morning).

It is important to note that your au pairs hours do not have to be continuous. For example, you can schedule your au pair to work 2 hours in the morning to help your kids get ready for school, then 8 hours later that day when your children return home from school.

My au pair is doing a great job, how can I reward her?

There are lots of ways to thank your au pair for a job well done. Check out these blogs for ideas…

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Can my au pair drive?
Yes, as long as they hold the appropriate foreign or local driver’s license in order to drive in your area. It is important to note that you will need to pay for your au pair’s car insurance on your vehicles as required by your insurance agency and policy.
Do I have to give my au pair my car?
No, you do not have to provide a car for your au pair. However, you do need to provide reasonable transportation for your au pair to fulfill their childcare duties and attend classes to complete the educational requirements of the program.
Can au pairs choose their classes for the educational component of the au pair program?

Yes, au pairs can choose their classes for the educational component of the au pair program provided that the class is offered by an accredited U.S. post-secondary institution.

It is important to note that some agencies require classes to relate to the study of American culture, values, history, geology, politics or the arts. You should check with your local community councillor before your au pair enrolls to make sure that the class will qualify.

What are the educational component requirements of the au pair program?

Au pairs in the USA are required to complete at least six semester hours (or the equivalent) of academic credit at an accredited U.S. post-secondary institution during their 12 month program.

Host families are expected to help the au pair find, enroll, attend, and pay for the first $500 of the academic coursework.

For more information you can reference the U.S. Department of State or talk to your local community councillor.

Oh no, what Should I do now?

If things are not working out with my au pair do I have to continue hosting them?
In most cases, yes, the host family is obligated to continue hosting the au pair until they return home or join another host family. Check your contract with your au pair sponsor agency for the details of this obligation and reach out to them directly if you have any concerns about continuing to host your au pair.
What is a rematch?

When issues arise between the host family and an au pair that could not be resolved through mediation with the local community counselor, then the family and the au pair will go into rematch.

In rematch the host family will be free to select a different au pair and the au pair will be free to match with a new family provided that the sponsor agency agrees. Au pair sponsor agencies can bar a host family from selecting a replacement au pair if it is determined that the host family violated U.S. government regulations, federal, state or local laws or their obligations under the au pair program contract.

For more information see our blog Let’s talk about rematch.

What is a friendly rematch?

When issues arise between the host family and an au pair that could not be resolved through mediation with the local community counselor, then the family and the au pair will go into rematch.

In a friendly rematch, the au pair and the host family are still on good terms.

For more information see our blog Let’s talk about rematch.

What happens if things are not going well with my au pair?

It is natural to run into adjustment issues or cultural differences with your au pair at some point during the program year. Things not going well? Try resolving issues first by talking to your au pair. If the concern persists after talking with your au pair you should reach out to your local community counselor for support and advice.

If your situation still has not improved then you should consider a rematch.

What if my au pair gets sick?
If your au pair is ill then you should help them feel better, the same as you would for an adult child who lives in your household. Imagine yourself in their shoes. They are exhausted, far from home, more than likely communicating in their second language, and trying to navigate our overly complicated medical and insurance systems.
What does my au pair's medical insurance cover?
Insurance coverage in the USA is extremely complicated and coverage for au pairs is typically not very good. You will need to refer to the sponsor agencies documentation for details about insurance coverage and links to find a doctor close to you. If you need help reach out to your local community counselor.
What do I do if my au pair crashes my car?
Accidents happen, this is why you should carry car insurance for your au pair.

First, make sure your au pair and anyone else involved in the accident are ok. Then help your au pair with anything else that might need to be handled in the situation.

After returning home from the accident talk to your au pair. They will likely be upset about what happened and want to know what the consequences of their accident. Most au pair sponsor agency contracts limit the monetary obligation of the au pair in the case of a car accident, check your contract. You should also talk to local community counselor about what happened.

Do au pair sponsor agencies guarantee continuous childcare coverage if something happens to my au pair?
No, au pair sponsor agencies do not typically guarantee continuous childcare coverage if something happens to your au pair. However, most agencies will do what they can to help you select a new au pair quickly and minimize the impact to the host family.

How do I tell my kids that my au pair is leaving?

No matter how old your children are, caregiver transitions can be difficult. Au Pair transitions are emotional and stressful. Not only are you loosing your support system, you are also loosing a member of the family. For help check check out out blog Help Your Kids Transition Between Au Pairs.

What do if my au pair fails the driver's license test?

It is common for au pairs to have trouble passing the driving test, it is hard! Now imagine that you don’t speak English as a your first language and it becomes exponentially more difficult. Here are our tips to Help Your Au Pair Pass the Driver’s License Test.

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