Hi, Abbie here! My husband is a teacher (and teachers never get paid what they’re worth). After a lay off two years ago, I alternated between unemployment and contract jobs. Now I have an amazing job I love, but we have some debt we need to pay down. We can’t afford to give our au pair a raise like Maddie and her husband. However, there are things I can do to reward my au pair and show her how much I appreciate everything she does for us.

Note: This article is about raising your au pair’s compensation above and beyond the minimum requirements. It goes without saying that you need to follow the program rules about how many hours your au pair works. You also need to provide basics like room, living expenses, and anything required for caring for your children like phone and transportation.

The power of thank you

One of the easiest things to do that doesn’t cost anything is saying thank you. Say it often and with specific examples.

It’s fun to have the kids write our au pairs thank you notes and reminding them to tell her thank you. I also tell them how lucky they are because of something she did for them.

Sometimes I’ll randomly text my au pair a thank you. Maybe it will be for getting to the bottom of the kids laundry pile. Or for how nice the children’s room looks because I know my boys forgot to make their beds (again). Yes, it’s her job but I still appreciate her work.

Think like a startup employer

Our au pairs are part of our family, but there is still a bit of an employer-employee relationship. As such, some of the things I learned from my time as a contractor gave me ideas for how I can reward my au pair without a raise.

At one of my contract jobs, the pay was lower than I would have liked. On the up side they were all about the free snacks in the break room and quarterly team-building events. Another previous employer was very liberal with thank you notes including movie tickets.

Searching the internet gives some good ideas, too. Like this article about 121 creative ways to reward employees.

Reward your au pair with a bonus instead of a raise

The bad (good?) part of a raise is that it’s permanent. Once you increase wages, they’re there for the rest of the year (and possibly the extension year).

A bonus is a nice one-time way of giving monetary compensation when you are not sure you can commit to raise. Try timing your au pair’s bonus after you receive your bonus payout. Depending on how much you receive, you can carve off some as a bonus for your au pair.

If you give your au pair money as a gift for birthday or holidays instead of a bonus, then it’s not wages and she doesn’t have to include it in taxes.

The other nice thing about a bonus is that it feels more substantial when you give the entire amount at one time.

Reward your au pair with extra time off

Although teachers don’t get paid what they deserve, they do get summers and extra time off. Since my husband is home, our au pair’s life gets super-easy.

All our au pairs have had very liberal vacations to jaunt around the country. Our second au pair, from Europe, got to take an amazing trip to Peru and see Macchu Picchu.

All of our au pairs have taken advantage of three-day weekends to take short road trips in our area.

We’re also super-mindful to make sure our au pair has plenty of time to hang out with her friends (or boyfriend). It shows we care about them, and we recognize how much they care about us.

Reward your au pair by paying for something extra

The bad part for au pairs about both a bonus and a raise is that they will have to pay taxes on the extra income. If your au pair is not the planning-ahead type, that extra income might add stress come taxes April.

Instead of paying your au pair directly, consider paying for something instead. As an example, we don’t ask our au pair to pay for gas when she uses the car in her personal time unless it becomes excessive. (It helps we have a Prius and she’s pretty reasonable about not putting too many miles on the car.)

Is her favorite band coming to town? Consider picking up two tickets (and make sure she is off duty that night and the next morning).

Sometimes I see things that I know my au pair “needs” so I make sure she has them. For example, Costco had these things that slip on over your shoes to give you extra traction when walking on ice. Without making a big deal, I put them on the desk in her room and let her know they were hers if she wanted.

Our first au pair had a certain brand of tea she liked from back home in Japan. Even though the rest of us didn’t drink it, we always made sure to include it in the family grocery list. Keeping her supplied in tea made her happy, and wasn’t that much extra in the grand scheme of things.

Six credits usually cost more than the $500 we’re required to pay. Some families pay for all six credits without making the au pair pay the extra difference. I’ve also heard of families paying for the au pair’s extension fee, or at least part of it.

Reward your au pair without costing you money

Rewarding your au pair doesn’t even have to be money that comes out of pocket. My credit card earns airline miles that I can’t use yet. (Taking a family of six on an airplane is a lot of miles!) When my au pair decided to take a weekend course out of state, I used my airline miles. That’s money she saves and doesn’t “cost” me anything.

Another example would be to look through your kitchen drawer for unused gift cards. I still had some of those movie gift cards from my previous employer so I treated my au pair and her boyfriend.

Find a great buy one get one free deal? Gift the second item to your au pair if it is something she would appreciate.

What makes you feel appreciated?

Think about your own job. How do you like to be recognized at work? What are some things your company does to reward employees other than giving a raise? Leave a comment below with your experience, we’d love to hear them.

Or if you’re a host family, pop on over to our My Au Pair and Me Host Family Community on Facebook. It’s nice to talk to other host families and know you’re not alone!

Abbie here. When I first found out about au pairs, I thought that it would be really expensive. After all, the whole reason I had put my three pre-school boys in daycare in the first place was because I had a friend who was a nanny, and I knew how much she charged. But how much do au pairs really cost?

In this article, we’ll start with the general overall cost per year and month (the exact amount will depend on your agency, where you live, etc.), and then go into detail of all these sub-costs:

• Agency fees
• Au pair wages (stipend)
• Additional fees such as education
• Cost of doing business (insurance, phone plan, etc.)

This article contains affiliate links. If you use choose Cultural Care (Abbie) or Eur Au Pair (Maddie) as your agency and use the referral links, they will receive an agency credit at no cost to you. Please read our disclaimer page for details.

HOW MUCH DOES AN AU PAIR COST PER YEAR? PER MONTH?

The short answer is “it depends.” The cost of an au pair can vary widely. This variance is based on factors such as the agency and program you choose and the cost of goods and services in your area. It also varies depending on how generous you choose to be.

The break down of our sample agency costs are later in this post.

Depending on which part of the country you live in, how many children you have, and what ages they are, this may or may not make financial sense for your family. We are a firm believer in doing what makes sense for you.

Abbie says: When my boys were in daycare, the cost for all three boys AFTER the family discount was over $2,800 per month. That was more than our house mortgage payment! And that wasn’t even infant rates.

Now that my boys are older, before and after school care would run about $1,500 per month. BUT I wouldn’t have someone at home who helps me get the kids up, dressed, fed, to school, into bath, and into bed. Not to mention the added help with their laundry and bedroom, and another driver to take them to activities. The extra $200 or so per month is so worth it for my general sanity (well, what’s left of it anyway).

WHAT ARE THE AU PAIR AGENCY FEES?

There are 15 au pair agencies licensed by the department of state. We have a free PDF download listing all the contact information and a small summary of each of them.

bbAu Pair agency fees run the range from just under $7,000 to about $9,000.

Most agencies require an application or registration fee (though that often gets discounted or waved) and possibly your initial interview with your local area coordinator before you can begin looking for au pairs. Generally, the fees are spread out. For example, you might have to pay an initial deposit once you match with an au pair, then another deposit, and then the final balance once she arrives.

Are Their Special Fees Should I Look For?

Absolutely! The US Department of State requires au pair sponsors agencies to be transparent about fees and other potential costs. However, they do not limit the types or amounts.

In addition to the agency fee, you are responsible for $500 towards the completion of the educational component of the au pair program (more about that later).

You should also look for additional transportation fees, visa or “SEVIS” (US Homeland Security student database system) fees, background check fees, application or registration fees, etc.

Agency Discounts

The application fee can be often waived. You can look for online codes, ask for a referral from a current family, get a code from an area director, or belong to a discount category.

The good news is that most agencies also have lots of other discounts they offer families:

• New family
• Military family
• Military veteran family
• Repeat family
• Early match discount (for repeat families)
• Switching family
• Multiples (twins, triplets, or more)

We’ve put in the time and research to create a spreadsheet comparing all the costs and fees of all the agencies. You can download our spreadsheet for free! Once you choose an agency, visit their website to see if they’re running any seasonal specials or discounts.

Agency Affiliate Credit

Many agencies offer a credit anywhere from $250 to $500 or even $1,000 if you recommend them to other host families.

For example, if you were to sign up for Cultural Care through Abbie’s affiliate link (read Abbie’s story) or sign up for Eur Au Pair using Maddie Clark as your referral (read Maddie’s story), then Abbie or Maddie would receive a credit on their agency fees at no cost to you.

What Do Agency Fees Pay For?

The agency fees may seem spendy, but they cover a lot of things:

• Coordinate the J-type visa for the au pair between multiple governments.
• Interview the au pair, run a background check, and verify her experience.
• Interview and background check you as the host family to make sure you’ll provide a safe place for the au pair to live. (After all, au pairs are someone else’s grown child.)
• Provide training such as first aid, CPR, etc. for the au pair before she arrives at your home. For most agencies, this is one week of training at a center but can be online.
• Pay a local and regional area coordinators, who are your first line of help if you or your au pair have any questions or issues, and coordinates monthly check-ins.
• Visa assistance
• “SEVIS” (US Homeland Security student database system) fees. This is variable between agencies
• Medical, travel, accidental death, and personal liability insurance for your au pair
• Airfare from the au pairs home airport to training and return airfare from your home airport to your au pairs home airport
• Provide transportation from the training center to your house. This is variable between agencies
• All the other infrastructure that goes into helping you and the au pair make a match, facilitating paperwork, building and maintaining the database of au pairs, etc.

Very few parts of the fees are refundable once you’ve made a match, so make sure you match carefully. Check out our blog Let’s Talk About Rematch for the financial details of Maddie’s rematch.

Infant Specialization

If you have a child 3 months to 2 years old, your au pair must be infant specialized. To have an infant specialization, au pairs need to have 200 hours watching infants and some agencies require them to spend one more day in training than the other au pairs. The good news is that even though you have a higher agency fee, the infant specialization does not affect the weekly stipend.

Payment Plans

Since it’s pretty hard for most people to just come up with all the fees up front, most of the agencies offer payment plans over 4-6 months. Even though the payment plan will add another $200-$400 onto your total agency fee, it does make the payments more easy to manage.

Abbie’s Payments with Au Pair Care

I have three children, a singleton and twins, that were in preschool and are now in elementary school. Here is a sample payment for agency fees for a new au pair coming in from out of country:

$50               Application fee (lots of ways to waive this)
-$50              Application fee waived as a twin mom
$1,000          Deposit fee
-$200            Multiples Discount (in subsequent years, I got a -$500 repeat family and -$250 early match fee but not the multiples discount)
$2,870          Down payment
$35               SEVIS Fee
$475             Airfare from Academy in NY to Seattle (This depends on where you live)
$1,170          1st Installment
$1,170          2nd Installment
$1,170          3rd Installment
$1,170          4th Installment
$8,860          Total

Here are my payments extending our au pair for a second year…so much less expensive!.

$367             DOS extension fee
$2,290          Down payment
$1,050          1st Extension installment
$1,050          2nd Extension installment
$1,050          3rd Extension installment
$1,050          4th Extension installment
$6,857        Total

Maddie’s Payments with Eur Au Pair

I have two children. The second one was born during the time of my third au pair. Here are a sample set of my payments for an au pair from out of country.

$350       Application fee
-$350      Application fee discount
$7,845    Program fee
$500       Domestic flight fee
-$600     Repeat host family discount
$7,720  Total

Our au pair extended for 6 months and then we had a new au pair from out of country.

$367        SEVIS fee
-$367      SEVIS fee discount
$3,475    Extension fee – 6 months
$8,325   Program fee
-$600     Repeat family discount
$500       Flight fee
$60          Payment handling fee (for paying in five installments instead of a lump sum)
$11,760          Total (18 months, which works out to $7,840 for the first 12 months)

HOW MUCH DO I PAY MY AU PAIR? (AU PAIR STIPEND)

What makes au pairs so reasonable in out-of-pocket costs is that most of their compensation is in room and board, and the money you pay them is considered a stipend.

They shouldn’t have to pay for any regular meals or utilities, though of course they’ll buy their own snacks, go out with friends, and buy some clothes in the first few months they arrive. (No one that I know can fit a full year’s closet into a suitcase or two.)

The Standard Au Pair Stipend

The standard au pair minimum stipend is determined by the US Department of State in accordance to the Fair Labor Standards Act as interpreted and implemented by the U.S. Department of Labor. As of January 1, 2019 the au pair weekly stipend is a minimum of $195.75 per week. You can choose to pay them more, but since they are not allowed to work overtime, and you’re not allowed to pay them less even if they don’t work a full 45 hours, it can’t be tied to hourly work.  We both pay our au pairs $200 per week because it makes the math easier (especially the first few weeks paying cash before their bank accounts are set up).

It’s important to pay your au pair weekly as stipulated by contract, not bi-monthly or monthly.

$200 per week x 51 weeks = $10,200 yearly*

*Note: You only pay an au pair for 51 weeks because the first week they are in training.

One of the things you’ll do when your au pair first arrives is sit down and work out a mechanism and good day of the week to transfer pay.

Abbie says: I pay my au pair $200 per week in cash until I can just transfer money electronically to her bank account, and my au pairs have usually chosen Friday as their day of choice to be paid.

Maddie says: I pay my au pair $200 per week on a rotating schedule. On week one, my au pair gets paid the Friday after the work is complete. On week two, my au pair gets paid early on the Friday before the work is completed. This allows for direct deposit right into my au pair’s bank account.

Pro Au Pair Stipend

While all agencies have standard au pairs, some agencies have various names for pro au pairs: premier au pair, au pair par experience, au pair extraordinaire, au pair pro, au pair plus, etc. These au pairs often have daycare or teaching experience, or some other extra training that sets them apart. The minimum stipend for a pro au pair ranges from $215 to $250

per week depending on the agency.

Educare Stipend

For families with older children, you can have an au pair that only works a maximum of 30 hours per week. Educare au pairs are also required to take 12 credits (as oppose

d to the regular 6 credits) to complete the education component of the program and host families pay $1,000 towards their education (as opposed to the regular $500). The Educare minimum stipend is $146.81 per week.

The Massachusetts Au Pair Stipened

If you live in the state of Massachusetts than your au pair is considered a domestic worker. This means that you have to follow the federal au pair laws and the local laws. See our blog about the Massachusetts Legal Decision for more details.

OTHER REQUIRED FEES

The education costs are a little weird as it’s not really an agency fee.  It is required by the federal government through the agency, and usually paid on behalf of the au pair.

The $500 goes towards tuition and books for your au pair’s required 6 credits of education.

Some au pair agencies have programs where the au pair can earn all 6 credits in one long four-day weekend retreat. Our au pair did two 3-credit community classes, one in fall quarter and one in spring quarter.

We paid the full tuition and books for the first class, which was about $290, then the remainder of the $500 for the second class ($210). Our au pair paid the rest of all the costs for the second class.

Another required fee is the SEVIS (Student and Exchange Visitor Information System) fee. This expense is separate from the visa fee, and goes towards the program office and automated system that keeps track of people on a number of different types of visas.

WHAT ELSE WILL I HAVE TO PAY FOR?

If you require the au pair to have something to watch your children, you need to provide it!

Here is the summary of Abbie’s increased expenses:

$2,880 per year       Car payment for new-to-us car ($240/mo)

$1,200 per year       Car insurance increase (for the added car and driver)

$200 once                Cell phone

$240 per year          Cell phone plan ($20/mo to add her to our plan)

$4,520                      Total

Transportation

Abbie here: Because we live in the suburbs without the best public transportation, we needed a third vehicle. My husband has his truck, I had my van, so we got a used Prius. I use the Prius to commute to work while the au pair drives the van so she can take the kids to school, pick them up, and take them to activities. Then on the evenings and weekends, the au pair and I switch: she drives the small car and I drive the kid-carrier.

And then because she drives my kids to and from school and activities, I also put her on our auto insurance as our “nanny.” The insurance company said that was pretty common.

You also need to consider the cost of gas for your au pair when she is working. Because of the fuel savings we gained by purchasing the Prius this was not a consideration in our budget. Another note here is that our au pair covers the cost of the gas she uses when she is on her own time.

Cell Phone

Because your au pair needs to call you or 911 in case of an emergency, you need to provide her a cell phone and added her to your plan. Do you require your au pair to drive? If so, you will also need to pay for some amount of data for GPS navigation if it is not available in the au pair’s vehicle. You may also want your au pair to be able to take pictures and send them to you at work.

Cell phones can be expensive. The cost of the phone, the accessories, and the usage plan really add up. But there are a few ways to keep these costs in check. Our blog, 3 Tips for Controlling Au Pair Cell Phone Expenses, covers the details on cell phone costs for your au pair. Above everything, good communication is key! You need to talk to your au pair about cell phones before they arrive.

When my first au pair arrived, I took the opportunity to get myself a new phone and reset my old phone to factory settings for the au pair. You can also get a decent phone on amazon.com, gazelle.com, or other sites for $150 to $200. If she breaks or loses it, she should replace it. When our first au pair left, she gave back the phone for the second au pair. We have unlimited data, so I just paid the extra $20/month for an extra line.

Food and Utilities

We both agree, the increase to our electricity, water, gas, food, etc. has been minimal. In fact, our food budget has decreased because we’re eating out less and taking lunches to work instead of buying.

Vacations

There are two different types of vacations you need to consider: the au pair’s 2 weeks of paid vacation time (her time away from you) and a family vacation where the au pair may or may not be on the clock.

Au pairs are entitled to a minimum of two weeks of paid vacation during their program year. Typically the family chooses the timing of one week and the au pair chooses the timing of the other week so long as it works for the host family. Also, this vacation time does not have to be taken a week at a time, your au pair can choose to break the time up if desired.

For family vacations, if you choose to bring your au pair along and she will be on duty at some point on the trip (dinner out while she watches the kids in the hotel pool!) you will need to provide room, board, and transportation.

GRAND TOTAL

Combining all the fees together, this is how we get our estimate at the beginning of the article of $1,580 per month of just au pair expenses, and our budget of $1,700 – $1,900 per month.

$6,800 – $8,800          Initial agency fees

$500             Education fees

$10,200        Au pair salary

$800 – $4,520 Extras and incidentals (phone, auto insurance, car payment)

$18,300 – $24,020 Total

$1,578 per month averaged out on a second year au pair without counting a car payment

$1,984 per month averaged out, INCLUDING a car payment.

How does this compare to the cost of your current child care situation? If you have one child, it may or may not be worth it. (Remember, if you have an infant you’ll have to add to the budget.)

If you have two children, the cost may be similar but it might be worth it to have an extra driver and more flexible schedule.

If you have three children (multiples make that happen real fast!), then this is probably a great cost savings and sanity saver.

What works best for you? If you have any further questions or comments, please feel free to leave a comment below or jump on over to our My Au Pair and Me Facebook Community. We’d love to chat.

Abbie here. What is an au pair? Au pairs are like the best-kept childcare secret! I heard about au pairs from my friend Maddie. Maddie heard about au pairs from a friend of her Mother in Law’s at a party.

And even when Maddie got her au pair two years before me, I kept wondering how she could afford it. It seemed like something super fancy and out of my league. Then I looked into it and I found out it was so much less expensive than daycare for our three boys. It took me a while to get used to the idea (and to finally clean out the spare room in our house). Now my husband and I wish we had used au pairs as our childcare sooner.

Who is an Au Pair?

Au pairs are responsible young adults between the ages of 18 and 26 years old. Most are women, so we’ll generally use “she” to refer to au pairs, but some are men. I’ve heard the guys referred to as “bro-pairs” and are often hired for extra sports coaching or special needs.

Most au pairs speak English as a second language pretty well (they have to pass a test at their agency). Some au pairs come from English-speaking countries like Australia or Great Britain. However, I love the foreign exchange concept and ask the au pairs to help my kids learn at least some basic words in their language like counting and colors.

How Does Au Pair Childcare Work?

When I’m out and about, the quick answer I give is that an au pair is kind-of like a foreign exchange student nanny. But it’s much more than that. Their role is as a family member, a cross between a big sister (or brother) and a teacher.

Quick Definition of Au Pair

“Au pair” is a French word pronounced “oh pair” and literally translated means “on par” or “equal to.” Au pairs are considered family members, not servants.

Au Pair Family Life

The au pair comes and lives with you to provided childcare. In exchange, you provide room, board, and a weekly stipend (and a few other expenses). Au pairs eat meals with the family (yes, you have to feed them). They also might buy their own snacks and treats for themselves. Your Au pair must have their own private bedroom, but can share a bathroom. They aren’t allowed to live out, or to have second jobs.

She is a member of the family, so she can help with doing dishes after dinner if you cook. If she cooks dinner for the children, it’s generally not that big of a deal for her to cook enough for everyone. Mostly she needs not to be treated like a household servant.

The au pair cares for, plays with, and provides educational activities for your child or children. She can also help with general household tasks associated with their care. For example, she can do the children’s laundry and help keep their bedroom and playroom picked up. She is not responsible for your laundry or making your bed. She’s also not responsible for vacuuming the whole house, weeding the garden, walking the dog, cleaning the kitty litter box, etc. That doesn’t mean she might not choose to walk the dog when she goes out with the kids, but it’s not her responsibility.

The best thing is to have good communication up front and during your year together to set clear expectations and boundaries.

Au Pair Work Hours

Au pairs work up to 10 hours per day and 45 hours per week. This can even include weekends as long as they have one and a half consecutive days off per week. They must have one full weekend off per month (Friday evening through Sunday evening). Au pairs also get two weeks of paid vacation per year.

It is important to note that your au pairs hours do not have to be continuous. For example, you can schedule your au pair to work 2 hours in the morning to help your kids get ready for school. Then later that day she can work 8 hours when your children return home from school.

Another consideration is the educational requirement of the program. During the year they’ll need to earn 6 credits of classes. This is usually through a local community college or through a weekend away program. A 3-credit class at my local college is two days a week and she arranges to take them during her non-work hours.

Au Pairs and Infant Care

Au pairs can be responsible for caring for infants 3 months or older. Keep in mind that au pairs can help with infants younger than 3 months, they just can’t be fully responsible for them. In homes with children under two years of age au pairs are required to have at least 200 hours of documented infant care experience.

HOW IS AN AU PAIR DIFFERENT THAN A NANNY?

The main difference between nannies and au pairs are

• Location
• Employment
• Price

Nanny vs Au Pair Location

Nannies are usually local (no visa required). You can meet them in person to interview them, watch how they interact with the children, etc. Although some nannies are live-in, most have their own homes and their own lives. For A nanny, you might get personal recommendations from someone you know or can contact. Au pair profiles have references of families and schools they’ve worked for in the past, but you won’t be able to contact them.

Nanny vs Au Pair Employment

Another difference is how long the nanny stays with you. With a nanny, you can have a trial period (which can be nice) or a nanny can stay with you for years (which is also nice). A nanny can also leave you at any time (which can leave you in a lurch). The au pair contract is for 12 months, and you can extend another 6, 9, or 12 months. And even when the au pair leaves, many families still keep in touch and visit each other after the contract has ended.

Nannies, being local, have their own lives and houses, and might be harder to find if you require evening or weekend hours. Au pairs also make friends with other au pairs and have activities outside of the family. But since they live with you it’s often easier to have a flexible schedule.

If something goes wrong with an au pair you can go into rematch, but that’s less likely to happen than a nanny flaking out on you. Rematches also happen less often because you and your au pair each have a monthly check-in with your local area coordinator. This coordinator helps to identify and solve problems when they’re small. There’s also a financial consideration to stick it out for a few more months until the contract is done.

Nanny vs Au Pair Price

The salary for au pairs is fixed regardless of if you have one child or four children. Some nannies have a flat price, but some nannies also have different rates for different numbers and ages of children. (Though nowhere near the per-child increase you’d see in daycare.)

According to an International Nanny Association (INA) salary survey in 2017, the average national hourly rate is $19.16/hour, which is more than $760 per week for 40 hours. Because a nanny is your employee, you also must pay taxes.

Au pairs live with the family and their room and board makes up a portion of their “pay”. The minimum au pair stipend is just under $200 per week for up to 45 hours of child care. If you add in all the agency and education fees, the cost is about $360 per week. If you add in extra costs such as phone bill and auto insurance, the cost come out to about $425 per week. The au pair is responsible for her own taxes, and the agency provides the au pair her own medical insurance.

We have all of the costs broken down in our post, How much does an au pair cost?

HOW DO I GET AN AU PAIR?

In the United States, there are 15 agencies licensed by the Department of State to coordinate the au pair exchange. They arrive on a J-type visa, which is different than either a work visa or a student visa, even though they do a bit of both. You must go through one of the licensed agencies in order to coordinate the visa.

Once you’ve picked some agencies, check to find out if you live within one hour’s drive of a local area coordinator or LAC. (LACs are sometimes called local counselor or LC, local childcare coordinator or LCC, etc.). If you live close to a city, you might be able to choose from a number of agencies. If you live in a more rural area, you might have only one agency to choose from.

Once you’ve chosen your agency and been interviewed by the local coordinator, then you can look through the list of au pairs on your agency’s website and start interviewing au pairs. Plan on approximately two months between signing up and your au pair arriving. Things can move slower or faster depending on your situation.

Sometimes families find their own au pair through word of mouth, au pair Facebook groups, etc. Some agencies will offer a discount for pre-matched au pairs. Most families just choose from the agency’s pre-approved list of au pairs.

Au pairs and host families sign a contract for 12 months, but they can extend for an additional 6, 9, or 12 months for a total of up to two years. You can also bring the same au pair back if she’s been out of the United States for two years and is still under 26 years old.

The Agency’s Responsibility

There are only 15 agencies licensed by the United States Department of State to grant au pairs J-1 type visas lasting 12 to 24 months.

You pay the agency a yearly fee of about $7,000 to $8,000. This fee goes towards research and background checks for au pairs, research and backgrounds check for you as the host family. The agency takes care of the paperwork between governments and provide training and orientation for new au pairs. They also pay the local coordinators to check in on and coordinate events for au pairs in a geographic area.

You also pay for the au pair to travel from the orientation week (usually in New York) to your house. (New York to Seattle is about $500). Eventually during the year you’ll pay up to $500 for her education. Au pairs are required to take a total of 6 credit hours over the year. (See How Much Does an Au Pair Cost?)

THE HOST FAMILY’S RESPONSIBILITY

To be a host family, you have to meet a few qualifications:

• The host parents or legal guardians (couples or single parents) have children at home from 3 months to 15 years old.
• Either host parents/guardians or children must be U.S. citizens or legal permanent residents.
• Parents/guardians must be fluent in English (and most au pairs want to live in English-speaking homes to improve their language skills).
• Live within a one-hour drive of your agency’s local care coordinator.
• Accept the au pair as a full member of the family and an exchange program participant. She should be included in family meals, outings, and activities.

You pay your au pair about $200 per week (just over $10,000 yearly) for childcare. She can work up to 10 hours per day, up to 45 hours per week. Her shift can including evenings and weekends, though she must have at least one weekend off per month. She’s allowed 10 days (two work weeks) of paid vacation. During the year, she needs to take 6 credits of classes and you pay the first $500 towards her tuition. (See How Much Does an Au Pair Cost?)

As the host family, you provide her (or him) with a private bedroom (not shared), food, and anything required to help her watch your children.

Au pairs usually come with an international driver’s license. However, she will likely be required by your car insurance company to get a state driver’s license. If you want her to drive children to and from events you’ll need to provide her with a car and add her to your car insurance policy. You’ll also need to provide a basic phone and phone plan so she or he can contact you or 911 in case of emergency. (See How Much Does an Au Pair Cost?)

Summary

Au pairs can be a very cost-effective child care option, especially for families with more than one child.

Au pairs:

• Are young women and men age 18-26 that provide live-in childcare for children ages 3 months to 17 years. The au pair must be infant-certified for children 3 months to 2 years old.
• Can work up to 10 hours per day, with a maximum of 45 hours per week.
• Can work evenings and weekends, but must have at least one full weekend off per month (Friday night to Sunday night) and one and a half consecutive days off per week.
• Get a total of 2 weeks of paid vacation per year at times mutually agreed upon by the au pair and host family.
• Provide childcare and can do light housework that pertains to the children.
• Stay with the host family for 12 months, and can extend for an additional 6, 9, or 12 months.
• Must earn 6 education credits throughout the year (either community education classes, or a weekend program).

Host families:

• Provide the au pair with a private bedroom, meals, and a weekly stipend (usually around $200/week).
• Include the au pair whenever possible in family meals, holidays, outings, vacations, and other family events.
• Match with au pairs through one of 15 agencies licensed by the United States Department of State, who arrive on a J-1 visa.
• Provide the au pair with $500 towards the education requirement.
• Provide the au pair with tools necessary for watching their child(ren) (phone, transportation, etc.)
• Must be U.S. citizens or legal permanent residents fluent in spoken English.

If you’re thinking about getting an au pair, please join our friendly My Au Pair and Me Community on Facebook. We’re a group of parents supporting each other, whether we have au pairs, or are looking to host an au pair.